The bully girl is a popular fantasy for many men, especially those who are less social.
Something along the lines of:
<You offer her a gesture of kindness
She retorts with a joking implication of your romantic feelings towards her
You confirm what she implied only as a joke
She is shocked
She blushes
She is cute.>
Its a popular fantasy for many men who cannot achieve control and attention, but desire it. Or rather, they desire a chance to prove themselves to be of good moral character, and they desire that effort being met with a desirable outcome. Attention.
No one else can tame the beast but the brave hero. And the beast once wild, is now their pet and prize.
The bully girl hates everyone but herself. She hurts others to make herself feel in control.
But the fantasy turns that into a desirable quality. You can be sure she will never betray you. You know what her opinions are of everything. You know that because she hates everything, she will love only you.
The bully girl fantasy is not only incriminating for the pursuing party, but for the bully girl herself. The other side to that Hero v Beast dynamic is that the beast thinks it has tamed the hero. The Hero is the pet of the Beast.
The Beast may kill the Hero at any time, but doesn't.
The Bully girl values herself. But what is she? She is the bully girl. She will uphold her facade. Sometimes humiliating her partner to do it. And because the partner is often one of low self esteem, they will submit.
This is a relationship of conflicting beliefs. Each thinking they hold some control of the other. When really it is the individuals psychological issues controling them.
The Bully girl bullies for romantic control. The partner submits for the fantasy of undivided romantic attention.
It is romantic when seen from each individuals perspective which may be why it seems so romantic in fiction.
But when you lift the rock, you see spiders.
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